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The Difference in One Word

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Tue, 22 May 2012 17:31:26 GMT

The Difference in a Word.

It has been said that nowhere in the world can you learn the lessons of the heart faster than in relationship. I'll have to say that is completely true. I'm amazed at how easy it is, after not living with someone for 10 years, to walk away and forget to say "I love you" or even say "good-bye."

The difference one word can make in a conversation that can appear to be tenuous, and really isn't is quite amazing.

My partner and I had a funny moment this morning when he thought I was upset that he was upset (frustrated at a computer malfunction) because I didn't kiss him goodbye when I took my mother to the shoe store.

I seriously didn't have a clue anything was wrong with him. He was having anxiety because he thought I was upset that he was upset. I felt bad. But we both laughed as we discussed how not to let that happen again.

My mind was simply on appeasing my 80-year-old mother. She can be demanding when she has to go somewhere for an appointment. LOL My life!

But one word could have made a difference. A kiss could have made a difference. A smile could have made a difference. We forget that communication is the key to a good relationship, especially after you have been in one for a long time.

The majority of my clients have been in long-term relationships. Each of them can tell myriad of stories about how each partner has gone weeks without even speaking. Crazy stuff, especially when you are raising children.

Communication is important on all levels: at work, at home, with yourself, with your children. You must trust your emotions enough to speak what you feel and follow up with the actions that show you mean what you say, loving or when your are putting up safe boundaries.

Love yourself enough today to do this functional necessity. And love someone else in your life enough to say that one word that lets him or her know you care!

Feelings, Nothing More than Feelings

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Mon, 21 May 2012 14:46:23 GMT

Feelings... Nothing More than Feelings.

When I think of the cheesiest song you can imagine, I often think of "Feelings." But when I actually break down the words and look at them spiritually, I think the writer may have had a good point.

In matters of love and work and anger and even joy, how long does one really hold on to his/her feelings. AND... the big AND is that these ephemeral, fleeting feelings usually take you to a place of deep healing and retrospect you needed to get to in your next step on your path toward wherever you're going toward in life and spiritually. I know they have in my world.

Granted all feelings are different. Some are skin deep, some go down to the depths of your being and stick in your crawl for a long time until you deal with them in counseling or with a forgiveness coach. But either way, the feelings change. They morf into something different daily. This shows us that they are moving, changing things.

I like a story my pastor told yesterday about a nonbelieving brain surgeon. He was asked about believing in spirituality. The brain surgeon said, "When I operate on a brain, I don't see spirit."

The wise man answered, "When you operate on a brain, do you see a thought? Surely you believe thoughts exist."

I guess seeing a thought would be the same as seeing a feeling. Who doesn't believe a feeling exists? Yet, there is no evidence of one in matter or form. They change and effect matter as something tangible.

When you have a feeling, the best thing to do is to sit with it. Figure out where its coming from. Is it an old feeling that has come up from a trigger that happened recently. Or are you sitting on a feeling that happened from an action someone did or an action that happened recently? When you discover what kind of feeling you have, the next thing to do is to take it to God or Spirit.

Let's face it. We are hopelessly deficient in changing our minds and feelings. We can talk ourselves out of most things, but they have a way of staying somewhere in our subconscious mind and in our body. God, however, has a way of working spiritual, healing powers in your life to move you forward through your pain and into liberation, if you are willing to feel what is there and work through it.

If someone leaves your life, trust me, you are not just feeling the departure of that person. You are feeling every abandonment issue from your entire life. So, it would be best to take the time to work through it now, before it bites you in the ass again.

I'm telling you this as a person who has spent 51 years looking at my pretty broken life and wondering if I could ever be whole. I took every opportunity to look deeply into my past and fit the pieces together, no matter how hard it was. One day I woke up and I realized I was on the way to normal.

You can do it too. One step at a time. One feeling at a time. With God's help, and maybe the help of a someone who understands the process...

The Race Is on.

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Sat, 19 May 2012 15:30:54 GMT

The Race Is on...

Get ready.

Get set.

Go.

Your adrenals are firing adrenaline into your body. The fight or flight mode has kicked in. You are ready to thrust off of the starting block with all your might.

But where are you running to? What is your goal? Do you even know with what means you'll get there?

A good builder starts with a plan. Once the plan is in place, then he or she draws a model, works out expenses, and decides where and when to build--Or if it is even feasible to build. Do you have a plan?

I'm a dreamer. I spend a great majority of my off time and time before I sleep fantasizing about the future. I imagine big--grande even. I always see myself with way more than I have. I see myself building additions on my house, a swimming pool in the back yard, getting my dream Lexus convertible. I spend more time dreaming then planning, I have to admit.

I don't have the exact plans for much of what I do. I never have. But I do have a plan for my life daily and possibly weekly. I leave the rest up to Spirit's leading. Sometime the best laid plans are laid waste by something that happens that isn't our will.

When it was the day of my last book launch, Nashville had its big flood. I planned for 6 months for the launch. There was nothing I could do about that. My plans were awash with the flood. It took an entire year for God to remake the plans for the book's arrival on the scene and get it on the bestseller's list. Trust me, it wasn't me who did it. But I did dream of it, many times. I did little to make what happen, happen.

Life is a balance of dreaming and planning. We can plan for the best and get knocked on our head. We can dream big and see little hope for quite some time. But one thing is for sure. A good plan, a good dream and a time to act is needed for anything you choose to do. And if you're a spiritual person, it doesn't hurt to have an angel or two helping you along the path too.

One thing is for sure, don't run a race without a plan. Always include in your plan a moment before to ask for guidance. It might be the difference between running in the snow or running in the sun.

New Growth

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Fri, 18 May 2012 13:18:30 GMT

New Growth.

I keep watching everyday for something new to bloom in my garden. Today it is a Rose of Sharon and a few new day lilies. I see new flowers perking out from the ground: tomatoes getting ready to become fruit, the smell basil and rosemary and oregano are fragrantly lilting through the air.

I think of how something new is blooming in my life everyday if I watch closely, as well. And there is probably something new germinating, carefully taking root and popping out from the ground to show me it has found new life. We have to keep a watchful eye on the things we are wishing for, sowing seeds for, in our lives. There is no reason why prosperity shouldn't be germinating right before our very eyes. "Plant a radish, get a radish. Never any doubt."

I think that is why Jesus loved to use parables about seeds so much. The miracle of something growing is so important for us to see the wonder of a thought magically growing into reality.

I had a client yesterday tell me a story about how she let a small thought about making money turn into the greatest gift of prosperity in her life thus far. She said it was almost like magic, but the key ingredient was faith. She said, she had $1000 left in her bank account when she told God that she would use it if she had to get what she needed to let the dream manifest. Today, she still has the $1000 in that account, and never had to touch it. Faith got her to her dream without ever having to sacrifice hunger and insecurity.

I love the story, especially, because I know she can bring that same magic to other areas of her life, if she could just reinitiate the process of faith in relationships, art, home life, other business projects, etc.

And so can you. What creation takes is:

1. An Idea (thought in action)

2. Believing that you and God can begin to act on the project together...

3. Calling upon that power within you and in the universe.

4. Envisioning it and continuing to have faith in it.

5. Holding fast to the vision no matter what you see in front of you.

These are the key factors to bringing forth new life. Now go forth and manifest...

Change Your Mind, Change Your Body

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Thu, 17 May 2012 14:15:55 GMT

Change Your Mind, Change Your Body.

Your body is a mirror for what happens in your mind and spirit. If you change your mind, your body will soon follow along. That being said, if you body is sick, it may be because you have some sick thoughts that need to be dealt with. (I'm going to say right off, this doesn't necessarily mean that every sickness has this correlation, but it's worth a good look.)

The spirit body has energy centers in the human body called Chakras. Each chakra gives spiritual energy to the human body, regulated by the human mind. Think of it as a spiritual bank account you're giving enough energy to, to support bills you have to pay.

For example, your stomach area is a chakra that is responsible for your relationship to self (self-esteem, self-care, habits, weight gain, smoking, addictions like alcohol). If you have issues with bad self-esteem, use addictions to cover your sad feelings, then you are probably supporting a large stomach. Maybe you will soon find yourself losing so much energy from that chakra that you will have intestinal problems and stomach problems as well.

You only get a certain amount of energy a day to invest in that account. If you use it wisely, you will support your energy system. If you carelessly use it, it will be depleted and zap the energy from your physical body and cause sickness, because everyone needs energy to survive. So, the support system from the spirit/mind/body is manipulated to the energy sucking side. The metaphor where the mind is now thinking bad thoughts and the body is proving the thoughts are correct are in place. You are now a picture of "what you sow, you shall reap."

There is a perfect paradigm in the Universe. If you work the spiritual and mental places to your benefit, your body will be healthier and you'll be led to caregiving that will help you deal with problems that, perhaps, you have had your entire life due to predisposed issues from genetics, as well.

A healthy spirit and a healthy mind, usually means you are on your way to a healthy body. This may not always be true. But for the most part, actively trying to create balance in your mind and body is a great thing to achieve.

What Happens Next?

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Wed, 16 May 2012 16:32:54 GMT

What Happens Next?

I had a close friend tell me a story of helping people with Post Traumatic Stress. He shared in the midst of a bad mental break, he would have a client repeat after him a list of numbers in tangible order. Then begin to create disorder, adding wrong numbers and even random words, confusing the logical side of the brain. This method has been used to help diffuse PTSD triggers in many cases.

So, yesterday, I had a PTSD moment and decided to try it without a practitioner's help. I began to think of a logical set of numbers and repeated them while putting illogical words and numbers in the place of what logically should go there. It actually worked in minutes.

I realized that the reason it work was the logic sequence of my brain was moving toward a + b = c, a normal progression for depression. So, if I messed up the logic, I would mess up the progression toward depression. A fairly simple idea to help a fairly large problem.

Today I began to think about the television show "Touch," where a young, mute child decides to help the world by deciphering the randomness of the world by using numbers. As I was thinking about my disordered number pattern, I began to think that somewhere "this" was order. And the patterns in my life, though they seemed completely random, were causing synchronistic events somewhere along the path of someone's life, and perhaps mine after a while.

All in all, even what seems illogical is perfectly logical to God. Because no one can even begin to decipher the paranormal events that bring together the world and all of its wonderful and magical and tragic factors that make us human living in a spiritual phenomena.

Today, I pray for the faith to help me live in this mass confusion with grace.

Take a Step Sideways

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Tue, 15 May 2012 15:09:10 GMT

Bo Says: Take One Step to the Left.

We spend our entire life moving forward toward our goals, backward when we're kicked in the belly, and standing still most of the time, as life doesn't often really inspire us to move anywhere. But what about sideways--right out of our comfortable paradigm--not up, not down, just a little eschew.

Yesterday I spent the entire day doing just that. It was crazy fun. By 11 pm, I was taking a power walk on not-so-safe streets of downtown Nashville with 3 crazy friends. By the end of the day, I crashed in bed and slept like a baby. I spent time with people I generally don't spend time with, I did things out of my paradigm, and I enjoyed every moment of it.

I think I'm going to begin scheduling some of my time off each week to do just that. What a relief to know that I haven't done everything there is to be done and seen everything there is to be seen in Nashville. I actually have new options. The variables are crazy wonderful and smell like gardenias blooming on my pillow on a spring morning.

Today, I just want to encourage my friends to take some risks. Have dinner and lunch with different friends. Schedule a game night with people you don't normally spend time with. Meet new people. Walk new roads. Plunge into new waters.

You'll find your life refreshing and plentiful, as I did.

Blessings!

Protecting Your Singing or Speaking Voice

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Mon, 14 May 2012 15:55:57 GMT

Protecting Your Singing Voice.

In a place called Nashville, everyone is interested in protecting his or her singing voice. Who better to ask than someone who has been teaching voice for 30 years. (Yes, I'm that old.)

First, spring is in the air. I have one word for you--well two words: Netti Pot. If you haven't gotten one, you need to. They are the ultimate prophylactic helper in times when nasal drainage is stomping on your singing or speaking voice. Pollen causes histamine reaction in the body. Histamine causes a flood of extra mucous to appear in the nasal and chest cavities. You can get rid of it with the netti pot (at least in the nasal cavity) before it becomes a breeding ground for bacteria and gives you more reason to fret.

Second, steam is a great way to keep your throat healthy. If you don't have a personal steamer, Walgreens sells them. They are great. They act like a personal facial. You put your face on it (basically nose and mouth and take deep breaths for 10 minutes-breathing in very hot steam). This will kill any nasties in the throat and rejuvenate any dry areas in the throat and nose. Dryness can also be a breeding ground for sickness.

Third, don't smoke or be around cigarettes. If you are a singer who smokes, you are just being foolish. Eventually you will sound like a warbling old person, and, of course, will probably get lung cancer. But if you're thinking about your singing voice, it's not helping. It is causing those histamines to collect and mucous to build up. That's why you wake up hacking every morning.

Fourth, warm up before you sing. The vocal chords, the pharyngeal pillars (the mechanism the closes the fold of the vocal chords), the soft palate, the intercostal muscles (that push the breath out), and the epiglotis (the steering mechanism that takes the sound either to the head or chest chamber) are all muscles that need warming before the body feels safe to give you its best.

If you don't have a vocal coach that can give you a good warm up, get one. I have a warm-up on CD or MP3 you can get for a small amount of money or come in to my studio to get one that is designed for you. But get one. You need it for your health.

Fifth, warm down after a long performance. You've seen runners stretching after a long run. It's the same thing here. You have to hum and do something physically strenuous at the same time for about 5 minutes to give the body and vocal mechanism a chance to settle.

All that being said, I hope you sing your best and share your light with the world. Remember: vocal health is not about becoming an opera singer. It's about learning the difference between harming or helping yourself to your authentic sound!

Who's Your Momma?

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Sun, 13 May 2012 14:56:26 GMT

Who's Your Momma?

Today is the day we celebrate mothers or the people in our lives who have been surrogate mothers. Let's hear it for a compassionate heart, the loving like no other special love could, the healing with a tender hand, the telling us like it is, and the giving us human life!

There is nothing like a mother, especially when she lives up to the role.

I'm blessed to have a mother who, though she left six children because of a painful divorce, has found her way back to my life and has recreated motherhood and healed all the tender places my life had been broken because of her departure.

It is never too late to be who you are intended to be. That's the lesson I have learned from my mother. She has told me that her intention when she left, was to leave my father and find a place for us. She was going to get all her children back.

But my father found a way to stop her and scared the beJesus out of all of us childre. He told us we couldn't see her or talk to her. I remember thinking I would be put in jail if I talked with her. So, I didn't see my mother for 6 of my formative years, until she found a way (God found a way) to get Mom back into our lives.

Soon after we moved back in with her, I moved to college, she moved to Arizona and I spent most of my adulthood not knowing my mother. But, again, God found a way to heal a much needed feeling of abandonment when my sister Cheryl moved to Arizona and my mother asked me if she could move into my apartment attached to my house.

During the last 4 years I have found the mother I lost when I was a child, and she has rediscovered the son she had to leave because of a painful marriage. Everyone who meets my mother now calls her Mom. She is cool. She is loving. She if funny. She is mostly the one who accepts everyone I bring into our lives as her child.

She is Mother.

How Do You Handle a Loss of Power?

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Sat, 12 May 2012 14:41:23 GMT

How Do You Handle a Loss of Power?

Most people come to me depleted and wondering why they feel so disenfranchised and full of anxiety. At the heart of almost every problem is a loss of power.

Some people give it away. Some people are coerced to give it away. Some people have their power snatched away by force. And the most unfortunate, are so young they have no choice in the matter.

Most people who come in to see me (and this may sound so bizarre, have lost their power to a thing, not a person). The thing is usually food or cigarettes or sex or gambling or pornography. This is the easiest of all places to retrieve your power, because it is within your own power and your power only to get back what you alone have given away.

But when the transgression has come from another person, the matter gets a little stickier. Forgiveness, boundaries, legalities, and the retrieval of your authentic power all have to be put into their proper place for your health to come back.

This takes time and the of a good mental health practitioner. Don't expect to do something this hard on your own. You are not Svengali. Each step takes special care in the doing to help mend your heart and retrieve that power you so rightfully deserve.

If you are one who has been mentally, spiritually, or physically raped or abused, my prayer is this for you today:

"Spirit God, help me find a way to reach out of my pain and find help. More importantly, I need to forgive myself, forgive You, and try to see what has happened to me as a chance for me to learn a strong lesson about losing my power. There is a powerful God strength inside of me that I know I want to access. Please help me find it again. Lead me to the person who will help me retrieve it without judgement and without pity."

(I want you to know, friends, that I, too, had been raped as a child. I know, full well that regaining my power has been a life-long job. I accept it fully now. I know that if I touch only one person with what I know and what I learned, I will have succeeded in making it all worth the fight. Much love. Bo)

The Part of Me I Didn't Want to Face...

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Fri, 11 May 2012 13:16:48 GMT

The Part of Me I Don't Want to Face...

Has become the part of me that gives me strength.

When someone comes to me with an issue; cigarette smoking, anxiety, stress, marital problems, weight issues, studying issues, nail biting, there is always something hiding behind the problem. The part that someone doesn't want to face is the part that hides behind the habit.

So, the first session of hypnotherapy is ridding yourself of the habit. But the second session is being brave enough to face what you have been literally creating--a smoke screen for what's underneath.

Think about what your hardest issues are in life. Try to remember what caused you to start you to move toward leaning on that habit. Then you'll discover why you are so addicted to your anxiety, stress or habit.

There is hope, you know. Everyday is a new day. We can begin a new; fresh with God's help.

There is strength deep within waiting to be unleashed. I'm knowing that for you today.

You WERE always on my mind.

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Thu, 10 May 2012 15:14:17 GMT

You WERE always on my mind.

I think everyone has that someone who has permeated his/her mind to the point that he or she influences decisions and events long after the person has gone.

I can think of one or two people in my life that I think about and wonder "what would .... think about that if he or she was standing right here?" or wonder if it would make that person jealous or envious because I have succeeded in some way that far surpassed their memory of me.

It saddens me, in fact, that I go there--every time I go there. I don't want to live in the past. I don't want my life to be about proving to anyone that I'm worthy or good enough for good. I should know by now that the only person I have to prove that to is MYSELF.

Worthiness, unfortunately, was one of those identifying markers our family and teachers branded into our brains. This is one of those neuro pathways that takes years to undo if you are living in the past and/or trying to undo the mental state on a cognitive level (with cognitive therapy).

The only way I can deal with it is from a spiritual place which I learned from self-hypnosis. I talk about my spiritual perch. You can only get there if you learn to relax enough and disassociate enough from the physical body to find a comfortable observing place where there is no judgement or condemnation. I find that I can watch what I do as a human and redirect my path calmly and wisely using the tools I learn daily from my spiritual teachers and reading from this perch.

I hope this helps if you are like me and waste so much time thinking in the past about people who have wronged you and left you for reasons you may never know. It's time to cut your losses and move on. They may find you again or not. But you have grander pastures to walk through and lovelier people to invite into your consciousness. Amen?

Venom and Diamonds

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Wed, 09 May 2012 13:26:57 GMT

Venom and Diamonds.

I know a few people who can wear diamonds and look beautiful, act beautiful, and never blink an eye when they shove their dessert fork in your heart in the middle of a swanky affair and turn it twice. I think it takes some training to be so cold and venomous.

This morning I had to tell a friend that a suggested health practitioner was not the one he wanted, because I once worked for this person and the experience was much less than palatable.

What I think the lesson is for me: Don't treat people badly. I don't want to spread terrible things about anyone. But I also don't want a friend to be treated by a person who would treat me badly without blinking an eye. That doesn't bode well for the level of authenticity I think a medical practitioner needs to have to treat people with heartfelt needs.

My lesson is simple today. Treat people--all people--with the level of kindness you would like to be treated with. And you will find that eventually that same kindness will find its way back to you.

"What you sow, you shall also reap!"

I believe this scripture wholeheartedly. Practice makes perfect even when you're practicing the art of love and compassion.

The Common Thread.

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Tue, 08 May 2012 15:00:32 GMT

The Common Thread.

What do we all have in common, bad or good, black or white, gay or straight, male or female?

We are all spiritual beings living in a human body, whether we want to make the choice of being aware of this or not. We may have blocked out the hearing mechanism of our spirit from never listening, but it will always be calmly drawing us to the light. Our bodies will be loudly screaming like crying babies with their egos wanting more and hungering for everything they see. This is the common thread.

This common thread is also a place where we can find compassion and live from a place of non-judgment. No one has passed through life without feeling the wants, fears and desires of the flesh. We wake up hungry, go to sleep tired, and need money to survive. These are all physical, human needs. You can't survive this human life without them. And getting caught up in the many wonderful extras is just part of it. Succumbing to the idea that life has you by the gonads and you'll never get ahead is another way that you can get snagged by the ego. Either way, you experience what it feels like to be human.

If you have felt the temptations of a human, then finding compassion in your heart to forgive and love through the many faults of those around you is not such a grand step to take.

The Buddhists believe that compassion is one of the greatest virtues a human can have. For that reason, I find the religion fascinating, because compassion is probably the hardest quality to possess in life.

Today, as the people in your life pass you by, think of those who have harmed you, faulted you, or done you wrong. Imagine a scenario where you have thought about doing something similar or actually wronged someone. See if your heart can find room for compassion for that individual in your life now who is bothering you.

I'm not asking you to let that person back into you life (i.e. good boundaries, yesterday's blog). But I am asking your heart to be free of un-forgiveness. When you can let go and let Spirit be free to live, and move and breathe through you with all It's fullness, you will be all you can be.

You be that mighty warrior, that strong business person, that prosperous parent, that future leader, or that teacher who changes lives. I wish that for you today.

Safe Boundaries

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Mon, 07 May 2012 15:40:36 GMT

Safe Boundaries.

Yesterday, Steve, a couple friends and I started unpacking Steve's things. Have you ever seen an 80-year-old protecting her boundaries. My mother (who has been living in my mother-in-law apartment--which really mean she living in every room of my house... lol), has really taken over the kitchen. Of course Steve had some kitchen utensils, bowls and food he was adding to the Queen's kitchen. Watching my mother was like watching the Black Swan evolve in slowmo...

I sat on my little spiritual perch and observed. I don't triangulate. I think it's bad for everyone involved when you intervene with what's between two people and interfere. I learned my lesson the very hard way a couple years ago when I told a friend he was being cheated on. It wasn't pretty. I think I may have lost a couple friendships along the way.

Anyway, it was kind like watching two dogs when they first meet, and they are wrestling for superiority. They growl and bark really loud, then one kind of puts his tail between his legs and the other knows she has gained control. I won't tell you which one lost control, but you can imagine. (Oh, did I use pronouns?)

Healthy boundaries. You have to have them. I don't recommend the rabid dog type of boundaries. I believe that a person with good boundaries has a natural air that shows where not to tread simply with body language and a few choice kind words. You never have to be mean to show that you're not comfortable with where a conversation is going, unless you have a predator that won't take "no" for an answer. That's an entirely different scenario.

Healthy boundaries. You need them at work. Bosses tend to heap work on employees who don't say I have enough work, thank you. Other employees tend to exploit you when you are venerable. You have to keep a careful eye out at work. It's not a time to put down your guard. Always be professional at work. Don't mix your personal life with your work. It's not a win-win situation. Get a social life outside of work.

Healthy boundaries with family. Yikes. If ever there was a time when boundaries were important, it is with family. They will tread where no tire would dare to tread. They will make a mohawk of your hair and sell the rest for a wig. They will cut off an arm and pawn it for the gold on your fingers. They will take you to court in a time of need. Boundaries are more important with family members than with anyone because you have neuro pathways in your brain that far exceed any other personal relationships. They tend to get triggered easily. Guilt and betrayal and having to save someone can become a messy recipe for anxiety when they are all feelings dealing with the same person.

Healthy boundaries in personal relationships are probably the most important place to have them. But the time to set them up is not after you are in relationship. You should talk about your likes and dislikes long before you enter into sex and intimacy, if you are planning relationship. (JM if you are reading this, you're safe.) Also, history about what has happened to you and your triggers are important to discuss with an intimate partner. So, when they come up, you can say, "This is why I am reacting out of character. I have discussed this with you before." And the result won't be cataclysmic.

"Spirit God, help us define our lives in a way that keep us safe and bold and strong, without harming others. Teach us to communicate our boundaries with others in rational and loving ways."

Prosperity Now!

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Sat, 05 May 2012 16:26:04 GMT

Prosperity Now!

Getting takes giving. There is a law of reciprocity that works in the universe that insists on balance. What you sow, you reap. What you give, you get in return. That which your heart thinks, so you shall you also see happen in your life. There is an inward and an outward metaphor that exists for everything in life, especially where prosperity comes into play.

Think of the story Jesus tells of the woman who only had a couple pennies. She put all she had into the offering basket. God saw her heart and responded in kindness to her wishes.

Today is a good day to think of ways you can give in every area of your life: financially, time, and in relationship. I think of giving in each area, so I make sure I continue to reap a great return in each place.

But even more than that, it is imperative for the soul to give. I feel as if I am a conduit for Spirit when I give. I open my hands and my heart to God's loving spirit and as it flows through me, I am blessed. I just ask: "What would I do to give of myself today to be a blessing to anyone in need?"

It's not rocket science. The trick, though, is not to get caught up in every person that has his/her hand out. Because if you were like me when you started this (I lived in NYC and there was a hand out at every corner), you had to learn about discernment. Who actually needs your help and who is Spirit telling you to help today? That is an important part of giving.

Also, there is a type of person who can give too much. I see them in my work all the time. They are usually way over weight and are some kind of addict, because they know how to help others, but not help themselves. Helping yourself is a learned behavior. But that is maybe Monday's blog.

To my last point: My blogs tend to be about things people can identify with: relationship, prosperity, dreaming about the future, imagining a better life and such. Yesterday I wrote about something way spiritual and very few people commented or "liked" it. I wondered where all my friends went when something deep from my heart came forth. Kind of interesting. I'd actually like to hear what you all were thinking when you read it. Did it make you feel uncomfortable? Was it too spiritual? Was it too Christian? This is a blog. I'm all about the reparte.

Do Eagles Swim?

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Fri, 04 May 2012 16:16:00 GMT

Do Eagles Swim?

"But those who trust in the LORD will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like EAGLES. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." ISAIAH 40;31

But did you know that that same eagle can swim? What is the metaphor here?

When we think of the creature that the bible singled out to show us we can fly high as we wait upon him, is it possible that the metaphor was that the eagle was symbology for Christ? The spiritual was also the one who plunges beneath the surface to save those who are caught in hell?

The idea came to me this morning when I was meditating on what to share in this Blog. (Yes, I meditate about what to share. I think it's important to be responsible for what I share everyday. I want my words to inspired and to be a conduit for the highest power that can flow through me.)

So, today I think about being like this eagle. I think about waiting. I think about good things coming to those who wait upon the Lord, upon Spirit. And I realize that sometimes the very person who waits must sometimes plunge into the deep to save those that are stuck in the murky waters of trials and tribulations, anxiety and temptation, addictions and abuse.

Today fly as high as you can. Sit in that place we call the perch--above yourself and watch the world. Spirit is calling you to soar above the world and wait and watch. And almost of like Superman, sometimes, you may be called to save someone in the depths of pain.

I believe we are all called to be more than just spirits living in human bodies, trying to work out our own lives. We are called to be warriors--readying ourselves to help others fight the good fight and win.

If not you, then who?

How Much Love Can One Person Feel?

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Thu, 03 May 2012 16:32:50 GMT

How Much Love Can Someone Feel?

The only meter I can actually gauge to that question is holding my puppy dog when he is licking my face first thing in the morning. It's different than any kind of love for a human. It is more pure than any human could possibly give me. It is unquestionably pure, unadulterated, God love. I would imagine that a child or a baby would be in the same ball park or even more, but I have no reference to that, as I'm not a father.

The thought of not getting to see my dog for a day or a few hours make my heart hurt. When I come into the house, I ache for his happy greeting. He is always the same, never cranky, never mad that I left. He jumps on me and spins in a circle and leaps onto the couch so that I can give him a hug, and he can lick my cheek. It's always the same. What human do you have in your life who can give that kind of perfect love?

I think God made pets to show us pure love. Sometimes I use a dog to think of what it would be like to have peace. They seem to feel comforted when they have the essentials in life: a warm person to cuddle next to, food, water, the proper time for a much needed walk. When all those needs are taken care of and a little play time is given, they lie there next to you and give that big sigh showing you, you've completely satisfied them. Head on the lap, eyes half opened (half listening for a squirrel or a cat to pass by), but they mostly wanting the complete comfort of your presence. With my dog, he doesn't even need my attention. That is, unless someone else tries to give me a kiss or hug me. Then he's in the middle of them growling.

Who could resist someone fighting for them like you are a king of his life? Everyone else gets mad. I scold him--kind of. But secretly, I love how he protects me and wants me for his own. It is written that Shorkies were bred to take care of royalty. They find a master and won't let anyone else close to the king or queen. (No jokes there.) I'm sure that's what he's doing.

My family usually kisses each other good night. My mother lives with me. She comes over to me every evening and says, "Good night, son. I love you!" And then kisses me on the cheek. Every night without fail at 9 pm, Coco jumps onto my chest and growls at her. Sometimes he even shows his teeth. We laugh every night.

Then, what is so interesting is, Mom say, "Come on, Coco, let's go to sleep." He follow her into her bedroom and sleeps with her until I'm ready for bed, which is usually a couple hours later.

I have a Chi machine that I use to relax my lower back in the night sometimes before I go to sleep. Most times I fall asleep on the floor, because the machine rocks my feet back and forth and puts me to sleep. About 1 AM I'll hear a rustling in the doorway. Coco will poke his nose under my neck and wake me up, then he'll go back to my mom's room.

About 2 hours later, he'll jump into bed with me and sleep the remainder of the night with me. It's as if he has to divide the night equally between his two masters. He has the house under control. It's his domain Every night he does the same thing.

Truly, I don't know what I would do without his presence. This is pure love.

Netti Pots

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Wed, 02 May 2012 13:18:46 GMT

Netti Pot

When I started suggesting the use of a Netti Pot to vocal students 25 years ago, I had to order them from India. Now you can buy them at Walgreens. Fortunately for us, the Ayurvedic, naturopathic solution to colds, allergies, and sinus problems has become a common place thing in the states.

For those of you who do not know what a netti pot is, it is a well that contains a warm, saline solution that is used as a douche for the sinus cavity. Most people, like me, use it throughout the year, as a prevention for any sinus problems. What it does is clean out the nasal passage of any mucous and nasal storage every day so that this will not be a breeding ground for infection.

If you already have infection there, it cleans out the infection every day and urges the body toward a speedier recovery.

For people with allergy problems, it keeps the histamines at a minimum.

If you have never tried one, I'd give it a go. The directions are on the box with pictures and everything. I'm sure Google has a bunch of wonderful advice as well. Even my mother, the mother of all "I can't do that's" uses one! So, it is approved even by 80-year-olds.

The first time is a little like you have been caught up in an Atlanta Ocean wave. Give it a few tries before you give up. You'll love the results.

Sweeping Out the Old

Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog — Tue, 01 May 2012 17:41:58 GMT

Sweeping Out the Old.

I spent almost all of Sunday and Monday cleaning out 2 storage areas and one closet in my bedroom to make room for Steve moving in this Sunday. I can't believe what I have collected in 7 years since I moved into this house. Why do we wait so long to give our lives a good sweeping? There were so many things I didn't even know were there, let alone used.

There were things from old relationships (definitely bad mojo), things from old jobs (not good for prosperity), things that didn't fit, things that were ugly, and things that just plumb needed ousting.

I can't tell you how much better I feel having all my clothes in one closet and having only the clothes I actually wear at my fingertips. I open my storage room off of my carport and I'm not tempted to grab what I have to get and slam the door quickly behind me. It is a pleasant place to be now. All swept and organized, the space actually means something to me.

Maybe one day I'll actually get back in there and organize the tools. (Tools never were my forte.) I kind of throw them back into the chest and sometimes buy the same thing over and over again because I can't find what I'm looking for.

I found an old trunk that had pictures and scrapbooks from my childhood. That was a blast from my past. On top of all of it were taxes and receipts from 1910-1920. I didn't know I was that old. ROR (that's the Asian version of LOL)

Now I have one more things to do before Sunday. I have to take down my prayer table and corner to make room for Steve's dresser drawers. It's harder than I thought it would be. But I realized that all the relics there and things I've collected have a place in many different areas of my house now. The blessings and prayers that have stayed in one corner of my room are now ready to be spread all over the house. At least, that's what I'm telling myself to begin.

Alas, space and more space and room to begin again. This feels good and right! I'm happy.