Am I Making a Biggggg Mistake?

Second guessing oneself is one of the biggest roadblocks to success—in my estimation. We get a vision—sometimes a divine vision, and move forward with joyful expectation. Suddenly we hit a roadblock. Then we wonder if what we are doing is, indeed, divine. Who hasn't felt this feeling before?

In my life I have felt it a hundred times, especially in relationships. Something feels right at first, very right, then all of a sudden, memories from past come rushing in, and they begin to implode over the face of the individual you are dating. Soon you can no longer see the present person. You can only see what can happen if... 

PTSD, anxious attachment, obsessive compulsive behavior... I've felt them all when it comes to loving. You don't grow up in an environment of not knowing if you'll be loved, and then as an adult suddenly expect love to always be there. That is, if you continue to live in the same paradigm as you have lived in the past--with fear of rejection and the knowledge that nothing good ever stays with you.

Most of us came from brokenness in some way. Even if your family stayed together, you probably experienced some sort of alienation at some point of your life, or experienced abandonment in a relationship. It's not a fun place to be, nor is it easy to erase from the hard drive of your memory. 

Most people ask me, can I get a hard drive completely erased? I tell them, absolutely not. Every neuro pathway of your brain has been alive and well since you were born. If you don't remember, they remember. But the good news is: New Neuro pathways can always be made. It is true that a new neuro pathway is harder to make as an adult, but with help and with diligence we can forge them and take a new road to happiness and make a successful relationship or a new chance at life possible. 

Let's look at second guessing as a chance to view your new path with the memory of your old self. 

Sweep away the dust from the picture of your original dream. See it clearly again. Then, like the optometrist's vision machine with the ocular lenses, try looking at the vision with different parts of your past. 

How would this vision look if he abandoned me? Then answer the question. (been there, done that... I survived) How would this vision look if I got my business running and eventually I didn't have the money to make it a success? (well, I tried and made the best of it. My dream was important. I had fun pursuing my dream.) What if I give my heart and this one ends up being a player? (I have made that mistake before and I know the signs to look for. I'm more diligent now. I'll know better.)

Then go back to the original vision and think... What would this divine vision look like with NONE of my old lenses from the past covering it. What if, try as I may, I could keep the path clear for God to continue to lead me to greener pastures no matter what happens and no matter how many hiccups happen along the path? What would happen then? 

I'll tell you, my friend. You would be on the road to happiness. I wish you that.