Feelings, Nothing More than Feelings
Feelings... Nothing More than Feelings...
I used to have this Hispanic Vocal client when I lived in NYC who sang the song "Feelings." I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was like the "Idol" judges trying not to laugh while I was coaching him. But he was adorable, I have to admit, as he attempted to interpret an English song with a very Hispanic accent.
But this, as you probably figured out by now, is not my point. Feelings are so very temporal. They come and go like the wind. One day you're mad as hell at someone, and the next you love them like nothing happened. One day you think you will never change to the new Facebook, then after you do, you decide it is really kewl. I mean really. Do we ever truly have a feeling that sticks?
The answer is yes, of course. Some of our deeply rooted feelings are not ephemeral. They are tied to our core belief system. These feelings stay put, for the most part. It's the fleeting feelings that I want to talk about today. The ones that change.
When something comes in your life that causes you to have a strong fleeting feeling. And you know it is not based on a core belief. IF it is based on an action or an emotion, we have to treat it differently than we treat our core beliefs. I'm not saying throw away your emotion. I'm saying, realize that you will get over it and don't waste a friendship with words you can't take back.
Yesterday I imagined one of these friend's sons calling me and telling me that his father had cancer and was in the hospital. As angry as I am at him. My only internal response was to go to his side. That says to me that my feeling is fleeting. I'll get over the anger. So, I tell myself that whatever happens, don't say something that will dishonor the friendship, because someday I'll want to reclaim the love and caring we once had. Maybe I'm not ready today, but someday.
"God help me understand my feelings. Help me deal with them as you would, with compassion and understanding."
I used to have this Hispanic Vocal client when I lived in NYC who sang the song "Feelings." I can remember it like it was yesterday. I was like the "Idol" judges trying not to laugh while I was coaching him. But he was adorable, I have to admit, as he attempted to interpret an English song with a very Hispanic accent.
But this, as you probably figured out by now, is not my point. Feelings are so very temporal. They come and go like the wind. One day you're mad as hell at someone, and the next you love them like nothing happened. One day you think you will never change to the new Facebook, then after you do, you decide it is really kewl. I mean really. Do we ever truly have a feeling that sticks?
The answer is yes, of course. Some of our deeply rooted feelings are not ephemeral. They are tied to our core belief system. These feelings stay put, for the most part. It's the fleeting feelings that I want to talk about today. The ones that change.
When something comes in your life that causes you to have a strong fleeting feeling. And you know it is not based on a core belief. IF it is based on an action or an emotion, we have to treat it differently than we treat our core beliefs. I'm not saying throw away your emotion. I'm saying, realize that you will get over it and don't waste a friendship with words you can't take back.
Yesterday I imagined one of these friend's sons calling me and telling me that his father had cancer and was in the hospital. As angry as I am at him. My only internal response was to go to his side. That says to me that my feeling is fleeting. I'll get over the anger. So, I tell myself that whatever happens, don't say something that will dishonor the friendship, because someday I'll want to reclaim the love and caring we once had. Maybe I'm not ready today, but someday.
"God help me understand my feelings. Help me deal with them as you would, with compassion and understanding."
Posted by Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog at 1/19/2012 12:07 PM 
Categories: love, Mental Health Relationships:Life Coach:Hypnotherapy, Voice Lessons, relationship Advice, Relationship Advice, sex, Relationship Help from a Gay Male Friend, relationships, advice
Tags: Feelings psychology Understanding compassion
Categories: love, Mental Health Relationships:Life Coach:Hypnotherapy, Voice Lessons, relationship Advice, Relationship Advice, sex, Relationship Help from a Gay Male Friend, relationships, advice
Tags: Feelings psychology Understanding compassion
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