Researching your past is much like writing a screenplay and doing the research to create a palatable character.  What you are now is made of all the parts you were in the past. So, you must ask yourself questions like:

Ø  What are your social, political, and religious views?

Ø  Did you development them yourself, or were they placed upon you?

Ø  Was there some trauma in your past that has changed the way you view the rest of your life?

Ø  And my favorite question: What part of your human anatomy fondly resembles your aging relatives? Is it your belly that looks just like your daddy’s? Or is it your thighs that look just like grandmother’s?

            To make effective change you must discover what part of your thinking is actually yours and what was simply fed to you or done to you. In doing so, you have to sift out what no longer serves your life and replace those ways of thinking with ways that do serve you.

Life is like a threshing floor.

            Read the following statement aloud: “I release and let go of all things that no longer serve my life. I am open and willing for change!”

            After doing so, check out your body. Were you barely moving your lips? Were your legs crossed, arms crossed, or your lips so tight they are turning white?  Clearly, everything you have ever let go of had claw marks in it, right?

            Change takes openness. That’s for sure. And commitment. And true authenticity about everything that has happened to you in your past.” 

            Making a strong commitment to change takes boldness. Try repeating this statement again.  Aloud. This time with meaning.  With your palms and arms open:

“I release and let go of all things that no longer serve my life. I am open and willing for change.”

            Let’s look at some of the questions you can ask yourself concerning your past history:

a.     How did your family life affect you? This is a huge question. But, to undo unproductive thinking, you often have to rediscover your family life patterns, and see how you’re reliving them NOW. No one likes to hear you are acting like your mother or father. But the truth is, sometimes we do. I know I can be a very controlling, just as my dad was, if I don’t watch myself with an authentic and compassionate eye. 

b.     What traits are you holding of your parents that you want to let go of today?

                                               i.     To make it easier, Let’s focus on just one trait and make a commitment for change in just this one area for now.  There is no better time than now to make this change.

            Besides being a writer, I’m also a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Life Coach. Everyday I hear stories from clients that change me, make me look deeper into my own soul for understanding. When I find myself drifting off into my own head and thoughts, while a client is sharing his or her story, I force myself back into the present moment and listen harder.  Why? Because I know that what he or she is saying is probably something I may be avoiding in my own self.

            We are all like mirrors to each other. When I look at you or am bothered by you, it’s really you holding up a mirror to a part of me that I am not wanting to look at. And I need to look at that part to become a better person.

            I’ve come to believe that if you don’t question your thoughts, you are probably suffering from some mental disorder, most specifically narcissism. This practice of self-exploration didn’t happen over night in me. In fact, it has taken me many years to realize that all that I have in this world is right here in this moment. I can choose to waste the moment, keep reliving it over and over with the same unproductive thoughts and unproductive actions, or be open and free to experience the next moment of precious life.

There is one great reason to look at your past: To let go of the old and make room for all the amazing new things that are unfolding in your life right now!