When Change Is Inevitable

When Change Is inevitable:

You can know for 18 years that your child is going off to college. The day he or she leaves, however, can be the worst heartbreak of your life. You can know for sure that the summer flowers in your garden will die off come winter, but when you see them turning brown and withering in the frost, suddenly your smile fades. It's fall and the autumn leaves remind me of harvest. I'm hungry all the time because my body thinks it has to store up fat for the winter. Even though I know all the fat in the world isn't going to take the place of my gas heater, I still overeat.

Today a friend called me from his home after being discharged from the hospital. He felt emergent with concerns for his health. I rushed to his side. I felt his grief, even though I knew that he would be on the mend soon enough. 

I tried to take a new route home from the grocery store today to avoid driving past an old friend's house. Every time I drive past, I feel disappointed that neither of us could make it work. I started making turns that I thought would take me a new way home and ended up driving by her house again. 

I believe that the past will always be with us, will travel along with us, by our sides, like the inevitable knowing that I'm getting older and there is really nothing I can do about it.. Even though we may prepare ourselves with the idea that change is inevitable, that life will go on without him, her, it, we are driven by not only new thought, but mostly old ones--old movies stuck in the projectors of our minds.

Today I have no advice.. I just want you to know that I am there with you on this journey, sometimes struggling too. 

The autumn reminds me of change. It lets me know that even though things are dying around me, the leaves will nurture the ground for the next years growth. Let's keep our chins up!


 

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