REFLECTION ON YESTERDAYS

I just got back from Yesterday,

skeptical--was I prepared for the moment

fearful--would I be flooded with memories of past hurts

precious--I let go and faced you authentically and found peace

authentic--your touch spontaneous and warm

My Heart races from memory

exhausted from the many new feelings

and yet culminating in surprising peace.

Today, instead of new in its intent and magnificent vistas,

more commentary about yesterday.

I just got back from today.

a reflection on yesterday,

a distorted carnival mirror of the day before.

Cotton Candy, laughing clowns with rotten teeth. Two headed ponies and the smell of floured bubble gum from baseball cards keeping me trapped in red candy drizzle, hardened around my brain.

The now beckons me with peace, calls to my heart to my passion for freedom:

"Come, enjoy, live without fear, experience touch, taste, love to the fullest. It's yours.

I just got back from yester-year. I stayed there far too long, haunted by today and yesterday and shadows far too cold to defrost.

Everyday cascading memories magnify the one poignant truth:

We compare each friends, each kiss with a lover as it were a vivid recollection of a first childhood connection or the hug we missed from a busy daddy.

SHOCK me and wake me from the endless surge of exhausting feelings about the future.

Who shapes it? Who manages it? Who can coerce life to respond as you would like it to?

I just got back from yesterday. Sure it holds power, but not enough power to keep me locked in its embrace.

The dream of tomorrow has more candor and uses all that I am to make the present more alive

"Come on life! Be mine, reckon me reckless and shallow and weird.

Let me not be afraid to find quirky sadness and hope rushing forward toward a new moment with.. with.. you."

I just got back from yesterday with you.

I loved it!