In a garden, growth takes planting, watering, weeding, and eventually reaping the harvest. Or if you have a flower garden, you may just want to simply behold.

Growth can also be likened to a threshing floor, separating the chaff from the wheat.

Growth can be a hot furnace burning away the dross, the impurities.

Growth can be a honing process, a sharpening process. Iron sharpens iron. Sometimes it takes an equally yoked partner to help you get to your hardest, most imprisoned issues.

I advise friends to always wait to share these deep problems until they are secure in a relationship, though. You don’t want to scare away a prospective mate by flinging your old garbage at him.

I’m not suggesting that you hide your past from your partner either. That would be foolish. But wait to work on the tough issues, until you’ve built a solid and sturdy foundation to your relationship.

65Bo Sebastian

I’ve seen more good partnerships ruined because one person decided she had to unload all her garbage in the first month—for honesty’s sake.

For the first year, save your shit for your therapist. Or, if you’re lucky enough to have a good friend, we’ll have lunch.