I had a disagreement with a close friend yesterday. I'm not sure where the conversation went from me doing him a favor to him thinking I wanted something back for going the distance. Certainly, I wanted to know that if the situation were in reverse that he would do the same for me. I don't think that is an unfair thing to ask in any relationship.

When I was met with a reply that sounded as if he wasn't sure he could do what he was asking me to do, I felt betrayed in the friendship. I felt as if the relationship was out of balance, and my defenses went up.

I followed through with the favor, but I began to feel resentful and wondered how two such diverse people could continue a friendship when one of us couldn't bend.  

When both of our tempers were settled, we had an adult conversation about what happened.

However, it was only till today that I discovered what went wrong: Both of us were not meeting each other with compassion. Period. I had set out to be compassionate, but my defenses turned my compassion into judgement about his beliefs and his political positions. 

I guess, I don't really care what a friend believes, as long as he or she can meet my beliefs with compassion and not judge me. When I feel judged, ego rears up its ugly head and I begin to defend my righteous ways. As I'm sure most people would respond. But is there a better way to live?

People, we must meet life with compassion to be benefactors of the good and peaceful feelings spirit promises. There is no way to defend yourself and love compassionately at the same time. I'm not saying that you must bend or change for anyone. I am, however, saying that life would be a much better place if we didn't have the need to be right about what we believe, and more importantly, the need for others to agree with us as a contingency to be a friend.