Single or in a Stable Relationship?
Single or in a Stable Relationship?
Relationship has many things to add to your life, such as:
Stability
The chance to look at your own junk
The ability to compromise; but mostly
Security.
What relationship doesn't offer is lots and lots of fresh looks at life, as say a single man would have dating many different women, or vise versa.
I have a friend, Mark. He has been in a few long-term relationships, which seemed to have thrived. He understands the dynamics of being in relationship. But when he is out of relationship, my goodness, does he seem to have fun. He appears to frolic through life dating and having casual sex without a care in the world. I have to say that as someone in relationship, sometimes I wonder if I miss being single, to envy him as I do.
Then I remember all the desperately lonely times I had had when I was single, feeling unloved and unlovable. I compare the peaceful place of falling asleep in the arms of someone I trust with looking across a table at someone I know virtually nothing about and feeling like sex may be a possibility--but what does he look like naked? Does he have a communicable disease? Will he stay over and play the fantasy part of my caregiver and true support?
When it comes right down to it: Everything relationship-oriented people say they want when they are single, really is what they want. We just simply get bored, or we don't have the sense to take fresh chances in our relationships that will rebuild them and make them feel new.
Personally, I just had no model for true relationship growing up. Everything about my young life was about divorce and fighting. I didn't see peace until about thirty five. So, I have to tell my self, as you should if you came from a tumultuous life, that a stable relationship can get stale, but it's better than living life alone. Most importantly, we all have the opportunities daily to take a good look at our choices and redirect ourselves toward growth... even in relationship.
Posted by Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog at 4/29/2010 5:17 AM 
Categories: relationship Advice
Tags: Help finding True Intimacy Relationship Advice relationship Advice from a gay friend
Categories: relationship Advice
Tags: Help finding True Intimacy Relationship Advice relationship Advice from a gay friend
I think people give up on relationships whether it is a loved one or a friend, way too easy. We forget why we were attracted to that person initially. I never get it when I see people with seemingly good relationships just quit. It seems we are really cruel to the people we are closest to. And worse is the paybacks people inflict on each other for perceived offenses. I pray if I ever have a love relationship I will do all I can to preserve and protect it and the other person.
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