"I Love You" in Lipstick on the Medicine Chest Mirror
Today I had a client who has been struggling with weight issues. For five weeks he has been coming to me riddled with stress from a job that was changing after 25 years of being the same. But today he had an epiphany! He realized after he read some of the material I had sent home with him (5 weeks ago...) that he had been eating emotionally. When he would come home from work, he would feel exhausted, didn't want to exercise, and ate to fill the emptiness he felt emotionally from a detached relationship with his wife.
But after our last sessions things began to change. He learned to be a compassionate observer of his life. What does that mean?
We can wake up in the morning and think we are completely our physical self with a "to do" list a mile long, which sends us into our cognitive, deductive mind. If we stay on this course throughout the day, we become robots and train our minds to listen to the habits of our body and our old thinking.
Becoming a compassionate observer of our lives takes detaching from your old behavior (compulsive, fearful, anxious) and begin to look at it as if you are objectively watching someone you can help... YOU!
The truth is we have many old neuro pathways coming from the back of our brain trying to convince us we are our past. Only by becoming a conscious observer can we make change to those behaviors.
My client began to witness his shortcomings and decided he wanted to make a change. As he committed to change emotionally, his wife saw the light as well. She had been encouraging him to get healthier, but he didn't do much about making a plan for change. She could see that and got disinterested in his lax ways about his life, including their sex life.
So, this morning she wrote on the bathroom mirror in lipstick: I LOVE YOU!
That's all it took for him to see that his change in awareness and behavior was making a difference, not just for him, but everyone he faced daily. I suggested that is was incredibly courageous and compassionate for his wife to take that honest, loving step back toward their relationship. He needed to bring home some beautiful flowers and tell her he loved her too.
I have a feeling someone is going to rolling around in the bed together and enjoying the good that becoming aware brings to your lives.
That makes me a happy LIfe Coach. Amen.
Posted by Your Gay Friend's Guide Blog at 4/7/2010 11:20 PM 
Categories: relationship Advice
Tags: Help finding True Intimacy Relationship Advice relationship Advice from a gay friend
Categories: relationship Advice
Tags: Help finding True Intimacy Relationship Advice relationship Advice from a gay friend
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