Alcohol and Relationships

Alcohol and Relationships

My oldest sister married a man who sometimes loved his beer bottle more than he loved her. I hate to say this, but after leaving him about fifteen times, nothing had changed. He still was a heavy drinker and drug abuser, and still treated her badly almost every time he used. When he wasn’t drunk, he was very nice.

At this point, there is no separating the man from his addiction. In my estimation this means: The man loves his beer more than he loves her. She should face it and get on with her life.



I remember my sister once telling me that no one could love her as much as that husband. Where did she get that idea? From him?

Probably. My oldest sister is intelligent and had practically been the breadwinner of her small family for the entire time she was married to that husband. She had survived on her own. For many years, every time she left she went back to the place where she felt most comfortable—him.

That’s fine. I supported her in that decision then, and I support her healthy new marriage now. But there was no way to get to the health of this new relationship without allowing the old relationship to die.

She thought she would never find another man who loved her as much. How did she know that? Did she truly listen to her heart when she returned to the

89Bo Sebastian

old relationship, or did she listen to her fears and loneliness?

When you make choices about men, get some space. Take a lot of time and get clear about who is in control. Are you believing the truth about yourself? Are you letting the fear of the future lead you toward a relationship that is not benefiting you?

The right relationship is wonderful. But the wrong relationship is only something to bring drama and turmoil into your life. If that’s what you want, fine. But, if it’s not what you want, don’t be controlled by an overbearing man willing to sacrifice a true union to exert his egocentric will. That’s a great definition of narcissism.

 

What did you think of this article?




Trackbacks
  • No trackbacks exist for this post.
Comments

Leave a comment

Submitted comments are subject to moderation before being displayed.

 Name

 Email (will not be published)

 Website

Your comment is 0 characters limited to 3000 characters.