A Flash in the Pan:

I have found in my own dating experience, that people who come on strong, often burn out quickly.

Let's take Joe, for instance. When I first met him, he was like.. OH>> ARE YOU THE BO SEBASTIAN? His eyes got all big and starstruck.  I have to admit it made me feel powerful. I felt as if I could have had my way with him or asked him to do just about anything and he would have done it. But is control what I really want in relationship? If I do, then I better reassess the meaning of the word: relate.

When I played down Joe's plays for me, he backed off quickly. It wasn't like I was disinterested, it was more like I wanted him to see me--not his image of who I was.

I think this is important when you begin dating. If someone is dating you because he or she has an iconic image of you, the image is bound to break soon. The power that you once thought you had will become resentment. It happens all the time in relationship.

Think about what it might feel like to be dating  Brad Pitt. What if when you first talked to him, his breath was horrendous? What if he had body odor? What if he treated everyone around poorly? Would you play it off because he was Brad PItt? When would you really see him for the man he is, stripped of your expectations?

I'd imagine it might take awhile with Brad Pitt. But the same kind of thing happens in relationships all the time. The dumpy looking guy is attracted to the pretty girl. The pretty girl plays him like a yoyo.  He plies her with gifts and shows her he will do just about anything to get her. The pretty girl decides it would be better to be treated like a queen than to have a buff boyfriend who treats her like shit.

Then the world turns and the dumpy guy realizes he just attracted a very needy girl who literally suck his energy dry. She's so needy, she can't be a mate to him.  He can only be a mate to her.

Friends... this is not relationship.  It's a flash in the pan.

Find someone who you can trust and relate to on a daily basis, someone who will be there for you in sickness and in health, whether you lose your hair or gain a few pounds. This is relationship.