1/28/2010 7:09 PM
Nancilynn wrote:
Bo - I am so looking forward to the release of your book. You always have so many insights into human nature it makes me believe reading your book will be an adventure in itself. Best wishes and looking forward to seeing your name on the bestseller list. Reply to this
2/4/2010 11:44 AM
Can't find satisfaction wrote:
"Lately it seems that no matter who I'm with, I find something to be unsatisfied with. It doesn't matter how well I'm treated, I'll find something wrong."
This is usually a result of not really being happy within yourself. Can you place a mirror next to you the next time you find fault in someone and see what exactly are you saying about yourself?
Critisism can become a compulsion just like over eating or smoking. It can take your attention off of the very thing that needs to change in you.
Perhaps, it's commitment you struggle with or self-depricating thoughts. Whatever it is you are dealing with internally, you can be assured that it will appear in your life in relationship. That is the nature of intimate relationship. It brings to the surface all that you need to deal with in your life.
Smart people in relationship already recognize that, and don't decide to leave relationship whenever things get rough or they get a little discontented.
If what you are dealing with is your crap, not your partner's, my advice is to wait a month, maybe two before you decide this isn't the right relationship for you. It may not be. But you don't want something that you are going through to destroy a perfectly good relationship. Reply to this
2/9/2010 11:23 PM
Cyndi wrote:
Bo... ...where to start?...Let's see...I've been married once and, including that marriage...I have lived with 2 different men.
I don't think my problems with relationships have as much to do with not understanding men...as they have to do with "choosing the wrong men." You KNOW me...I choose men who need me to save them.
My husband needed me to save him from the poverty of West Africa and, Shahnon needed me to save him from himself and his addictions.
I've come to understand "why" I do what I do....but, what I don't understand is why I can't stop doing it.
Not having an intimate relationship....is the only thing that keeps me from repeating the past.
I've spent most of my adult life "not having an intimate relationship." Actually, I've spent most of ALL of my life..."not having an intimate relationship."
Prior to my last relationship, I would tell friends that I had probably had sex "less times than most seventeen year olds." Somewhere within that last relationship...I may have caught up!
Even though I stated that I don't think my problem has anything to do with "not understanding men"....I can't wait for your book!!!! Reply to this
2/11/2010 3:19 PMBo Sebastian wrote:
Discontent in relationship usually means discontent with yourself. Now choosing the wrong person may also mean that you don't think you deserve to have a partner. The only role you may know is the "helper."
Your job, should you accept it, would be to spend this time by yourself define a healthy relationship for you. Then when someone appears that is not in line with your core beliefs about what you want, you can dismiss that person as someone who is falling into your old pattern of belief.
2/11/2010 9:43 PM
Cyndi wrote:
Sounds almost like what I keep telling myself: "I wouldn't go to the store and buy oranges...when I need toilet paper...yet, I keep doing JUST THAT...with men." Reply to this
Bo - I am so looking forward to the release of your book. You always have so many insights into human nature it makes me believe reading your book will be an adventure in itself. Best wishes and looking forward to seeing your name on the bestseller list.
Reply to this
"Lately it seems that no matter who I'm with, I find something to be unsatisfied with. It doesn't matter how well I'm treated, I'll find something wrong."
This is usually a result of not really being happy within yourself. Can you place a mirror next to you the next time you find fault in someone and see what exactly are you saying about yourself?
Critisism can become a compulsion just like over eating or smoking. It can take your attention off of the very thing that needs to change in you.
Perhaps, it's commitment you struggle with or self-depricating thoughts. Whatever it is you are dealing with internally, you can be assured that it will appear in your life in relationship. That is the nature of intimate relationship. It brings to the surface all that you need to deal with in your life.
Smart people in relationship already recognize that, and don't decide to leave relationship whenever things get rough or they get a little discontented.
If what you are dealing with is your crap, not your partner's, my advice is to wait a month, maybe two before you decide this isn't the right relationship for you. It may not be. But you don't want something that you are going through to destroy a perfectly good relationship.
Reply to this
Bo...
...where to start?...Let's see...I've been married once and, including that marriage...I have lived with 2 different men.
I don't think my problems with relationships have as much to do with not understanding men...as they have to do with "choosing the wrong men."
You KNOW me...I choose men who need me to save them.
My husband needed me to save him from the poverty of West Africa and, Shahnon needed me to save him from himself and his addictions.
I've come to understand "why" I do what I do....but, what I don't understand is why I can't stop doing it.
Not having an intimate relationship....is the only thing that keeps me from repeating the past.
I've spent most of my adult life "not having an intimate relationship."
Actually, I've spent most of ALL of my life..."not having an intimate relationship."
Prior to my last relationship, I would tell friends that I had probably had sex "less times than most seventeen year olds." Somewhere within that last relationship...I may have caught up!
Even though I stated that I don't think my problem has anything to do with "not understanding men"....I can't wait for your book!!!!
Reply to this
Discontent in relationship usually means discontent with yourself. Now choosing the wrong person may also mean that you don't think you deserve to have a partner. The only role you may know is the "helper."
Your job, should you accept it, would be to spend this time by yourself define a healthy relationship for you. Then when someone appears that is not in line with your core beliefs about what you want, you can dismiss that person as someone who is falling into your old pattern of belief.
Does that help?
Reply to this
Sounds almost like what I keep telling myself: "I wouldn't go to the store and buy oranges...when I need toilet paper...yet, I keep doing JUST THAT...with men."
Reply to this